One month home part 2

Ok, so I couldn't NOT share this picture of Isaac... you just know he's thinking, what is wrong with this crazy family??


We'd made Valentine's cupcakes for 2 different parties and he was on a sugar crash! This one is after delivering said cupcakes and partying with 15 three year olds and 12 eight year olds for two hours. I think he deserves a nap!! I think I deserve one, too!!

We found out Monday that his palate surgery will be March 20. So we have time to get ourselves a little more organized and celebrate a second birthday for 'Mr.Man', as the girls have christened him! We are really pleased with our surgeon so far and have heard really good things about how he caters to the patients.. letting me be there as he goes to sleep and wakes up, etc. I'm thankful he'll get to celebrate a birthday before his surgery, but I'll be even more thankful to have this surgery behind us!

One Month Home!!

It's hard to believe it's already been a month! I look back and can see how far we've already come-- and it makes me so excited to see where the next month (and the next..) brings us! I thought I'd share a few highlights from the first 4 weeks as a family of 5:

Isaac LOVES his sisters! When we pick them up from school he goes wild and laughs most of the way home- and I especially love the one of Emily and Isaac making faces at each other at the restaurant (celebrating 2 weeks home!). I have one just like this of me and my brother when he was Isaacs age.. and Isaac makes this face all the time!








We went to a japanese steak house to celebrate Tet (yes, I know that's not even close to Vietnamese, but the kids love it, and one of the waiters turned out to be Vietnamese, so I figure that's good enough). Anyway, one of the girls' favorite things they've learned about Tet is that it's when people (esp. in the countryside) celebrate their birthday- so they decided Isaac should get the birthday song and candle, and who was I to say no? Please, someone correct me if I have this way wrong, but for this year, at least, we liked getting to celebrate the birthday we missed withg Isaac! And then, the circus came to town! We surprised the kids w/ tickets and it was great!! They all three sat perfectly still the entire time and were mesmerized by the performers. Seriously, I know my physics is a little (OK, a lot) rusty, but some of the things we saw should not be possible! I'd forgotten how much fun the circus could be. Isaac is going to think that America is one crazy place if we keep this up--

Tantrum vs. Grieving

I thought if I was going to show a picture of Isaac unhappy, it's only fair to show one of him happy, which he is almost all the time! (these are from the Picture People on his 11th day in America!) Before traveling to get Isaac, I read LOTS of stuff on attachment and grieving. I was as prepared as I knew to be for how hard it would be for this little guy to loose all he had known and to learn that we were the forever mom and dad. But I failed to remember (having been through it twice) that toddlers can sometimes just have tantrums! So we would be out for a walk and I would sit down to rest. Well, Isaac would have none of it!! Head thrown back and body shaking in complete rage! So you have to ask- is this because he'd rather walk (ie. a typical tantrum) or because this is the scenario we repeated upwards of 100 times on the day we got him (ie. grief in remembering the constant 'sit down,cry/ stand up calm' pattern of that day and all that happened then) And the answer dictates how you should respond. We always err on the side of assuming it's grief. If we coddle him a bit in these early days, we don't stand to loose much- maybe just add a few months onto the tantrum-ing stage. But if we don't coddle him, we stand to really loose big. I wonder if people think we are spoiling him, or giving him a bottle when he's so old, but then I realize I don't care what they think! This is my child and I have to live with how he attaches to us. But I wanted to present a realistic picture to those waiting to get their children- the grief is real. I could feel his body shaking and his heart racing and I wondered, Will he ever like us? Then he would calm down and start playing and smiling again. And I would forget how bad it could be until the next time. The first few days we went through 6+ rages a day, lasting for 10-30 minutes. And they have been tapering off since. In fact, what prompted this post was when I realized he didn't have a single fit yesterday! We know it's a long process- years even- but it's getting better. And the way his face lights up when I come into the room is priceless. He laughs all the time, is figuring out what to do with all these toys, and is starting to cuddle easier with his bottle. (he still insists on helping to hold it) But, as prepared as I was, seeing the grief is much different than reading about it. Especially because I love him so much and hate that he has to go through this. And, if I indulge a few tantrums in the name of being sure I don't miss helping him through grief, so be it!

A family of five

When we picked up Isaac from the orphanage it was emotional and crazy and instant love. I loved him from just having his picture, but holding this child was pure joy for me- it was instant and total. It makes absolutely no sense- I know nothing about him yet. Is he quiet, loud, energetic, calm?......but really, none of that matters. He is my son. And I love him. Walking around Vietnam with him was a treat- watching him slowly trust us with a few things (we are still working on this and will be for quite some time) and hearing his laugh all just felt right- like we belonged. But the feeling of walking into the airport and seeing our daughters run for us and their brother... well that was in another catagory. We were family, complete. I remember when Emily came into the hospital room when her sister was a few hours old. It's a similar feeling. I loved Audrey instantly, but until we were all together it still felt slightly off. Now we can get on with being a family. And I am loving it!!


One of the surest signs he loves the girls- he let us put him in the carseat!! He watched them buckle up and didn't even cry when it was his turn!! In Vietnam he'd cry if we got to close to an open car door-- he HATES car rides! Of course, car rides there are a close brush with death! But he just looked at his sisters and smiled for much of the drive. And when we got to the house we saw the decorations put up by my mom and Emily and Audrey. What a neat thing for Isaac to come home to. The girls are constantly with him and fighting over who gets to sit beside him. I know this will pass into a more normal sibling relationship, but it's beautiful to watch now. And it's wonderful to be a family of five!!

We're Home!

Well, it's been a little over a week since we've been home- but life is suddenly so busy!! And I would rather play with the three kids (that's right- THREE) than anything else. So, the house is a disaster, we're eating an odd hodge-podge of food, but we are happy!! We've even almost got a routine! Of course, when Branden goes back to work Monday all that is out the window again. But for now, it's working. I wanted to post a few pictures of our trip home before I forget the details.

This is Isaacs' last picture in Vietnam (other than the airport). We'd had dinner with John and Anne and Nicholas at Bobby Chins. Let me just say- that family is so sweet! We loved hanging out with them! I wish our trips would have overlapped a bit more, but am not complaining too much. We had a much shorter than average time in country and they are record- holders! This picture was right after Isaac gave Daddy his first kiss!! What a sweet moment- and of course he wouldn't do it again for the camera, but look how pleased he is with himself!

Then, on to the airport. Our flight didn't leave until midnight, so me and Isaac crashed. I wonder what the other travelers thought of us? But it felt so good to rest- I was worried it would make Isaac wide awake for the flights, but he actually slept almost the whole time we were in a plane- I love purple medicine!

The airport in Korea has a little indoor playground- I was so excited to try it out. Isaac, however, was terrified! He backed away and made me hold him. We eventually tried the little slide together and he decided it was OK, but not by himself. The little rocking horse was avoided completely. And it made me se sad! This child will be 2 in a few weeks and was afraid of a rocking horse and slide. He had no idea how to play on a playground! So I sat up in the climbing frame with him and we watched the other children. He actually started to enjoy himself toward the end- but it looks like we are going to be spending a bit of time at the playground teaching him how to play!

This is the window seat at the Korean Air terminal. It completely freaked out my poor husband (who gets dizzy on the 3rd floor!) but Isaac thought it was amazing to watch all the cars moving under him!



And this is the bassinets Korean Air gives you- we had to fudge a little on his height, but needed that cot! We'd tried letting him sleep on the floor on the previous flight, but the stewardesses were not pleased. Isaac loved it, but they were worried about turbulance. Now, I am a safety NUT! My dad trained me well! But there were people laying accross whole rows in the back of the plane with no seatbelt and I just couldn't see the difference. But they made us hold him and he woke up and cried for the last half hour of the ride. Poor baby- I wanted to go hold him up to the flight attendants ear! But I realized I was too tired to make compassionate decisions so stayed put. But on the next leg of the trip- the long one- we made sure we got a cot. Oh, and those don't have seat belts, either, so tell me again how that's safer than the floor? Plus, on the floor, we could lay out several blankets and coats for cushioning, but had no room on the cot for padding. OK, really, I'm going to let it go now.

Hanoi!

We've had a bit of trouble getting blogger to load in our hotel. We switched hotels today (they kept saying they were getting us a baby bed and, 2 nights later- no bed)and now can give you our great update.. Isaac had his medical appointment Monday. The doctor was originally from Lexington, Kentucky (near where I grew up and went to college) and we had the best time together talking about the great state of Kentucky!! Isaac sailed through, he is very healthy, and we got a visa appointment Wednesday at 2:30. We had one for Tuesday, but they have a new rule that you can't book an appointment with less than 48 hours notice. That makes no sense to anyone, and the Holt guy was clearly upset for us, but it still means we should be out of here by the end of the week if we can find a flight. We are waiting to hear back from the travel agent- so there is a real opportunity for prayer if anyone feels so led. Hanoi is nice and cool- cold, even. And lots of shopping opportunities!! Still, I don't like it nearly so much as Ho Chi Minh City. Or maybe I'm just really ready to see Emily and Audrey and to get Isaac into his new house (read: not a hotel room!). We've been using Skype- it's so nice to see the girls and have them tell about their days, yet it makes me sad, too. I miss them- and am just so grateful to my mother for taking such great care of them. They might not be ready for me to come home, what with all the new toys and visits to Chuck E. Cheese's!! What are grandmothers for, though, if not to spoil grandchildren? Anyway, no new pictures as I'm afraid to overload the system at this hotel until I know what it can handle. But before I finish, I simply must brag on Holt Vietnam! Seriously- our guy has called to check on us at least twice a day and worked late getting our hotels switched and making sure we were now satisfied! At our current hotel there are several families completing their adoptions and it really does show the high standard of Holt- I spoke with one family who was shocked to hear we'd been driven to the SOS clinic by our agency and all the help given to change hotels. I'm sure there are lots of great agencies out there, but I know we chose the best and I look at Isaac and am so glad we can focus our energy on him, not scheduling appointments and such. Anyway, enough on that-- I'll try to post more pictures tomorow.

I thought this was just precious- he falls asleep with his middle two fingers in his mouth- I'm not sure why, but I think it's cute!!

And I just had to show the market- although there is no way to really capture what it's like. It's so crowded and, yet, really bright- and there is always at least one person asking you to buy their things! You'll hear, "excuse me, madame (madame!), you like my silk shirt? I give you good price! HOw much you pay? I got many colors, many sizes." And before you get past that stall, the next one has started in. It's VERY fun, but also exhausting! And the best deals are to be found on the small rows where they will pack more stuff into a 3ft.x 4ft. stall than I thought possible-- of course, they stack stuff 15 feet high! You have to walk sideways to get through (at least I do!).

And here's us at the Lemongrass- we really liked the Vietnamese food here- well, it was the best we've had so far, anyway! We've been noticing Isaac does much better with his left hand-- we may have a little right brained artist-type on our hands! I'd told Branden before, we have two girls who really love sports, you just know our son is going to play the violin!! It kind of balances the family a bit. Anyway, we are off to meet our good friends from the Holt BB. They just arrived last night and we're meeting for lunch before our flight to Hanoi. I can't wait to see them- they are the family who shared our dates through almost the whole process. We've spent so much time on the phone and over email, it'll be so nice to actually see them!