My Amazing Children

I have written and said about the Isaacs' adjustment and how amazingly well he has done. And it is all so true- Isaac has lost his language, his caretakers, his comfort objects (we don't even know what those were), familiar food.........and been handed over to strangers. And I think he actually likes us! How amazing!

But today I want to focus on the two who waited with us for their brother. My amazing girls!! They, too, endured the long wait and constant unknowns. Then they lost their mom and dad for 2 weeks while we went to pick up the new kid. And yet we were welcomed home with open arms and precious little sibling rivalry. Please indulge me as I shamelessly brag...



Emily- She is so very brave. Her personality is not one that enjoys change. Yet, by this summer, she will have lived in 2 countries, 3 states, 6 houses (plus 3+ month stretches at my parents as few times), been in 4 schools, 3 churches...and the list goes on. Gotta love the Navy life. And she has done so well!! She is amazingly articulate- she is a deep thinker who will go to her room to sort things out in her head, then come talk to me about what is bothering her and why. Did I mention she just turned 8 !? And she's really funny, usually in that 8 year old laughing-at-farts kind of way, but sometimes she'll come up with really witty one-liners that leave us rolling on the floor! And she's really a perfect playmate for her sister and brother. She actually enjoys playing the 4 year old games w/ her sister and rolling a ball back and forth for HOURS with her brother. When Isaac came home, she went into protector mode, and he adores her! When we pick her up from school his whole face lights up and they play and laugh the whole way home. We've been trying to have mommy/Emily time at least once a week for an hour or so and, I gotta say, I really love hanging out with this kid! How lucky am I?





Audrey- This child has the most tender heart. She is all energy and motion, until she crashes into an amazing snuggle. She is the one that has amazed me most with Isaac. She was the baby for almost 5 years, then this toddler with no manners crashes her life---and she's OK with that! When Audrey was born, Emily had almost a year to get used to her before she could walk and talk and take things away. Audrey has had no such luxury- Isaac is always on the move and messing in her toys. He just wants to play with her, and I am so glad that Audrey understands that! We gave her the option to use a tall shelf to play out of Isaacs range, but she said that might make him sad, so she still plays on the floor with him. She is always so glad to see him and brings home treasures from school to show him. And her joy is indescribable. She goes wild with excitement over finding a pretty leaf! I really do take this kids to fun places, but they'd rather explore the backyard and go crazy over the new nest our squirrel family is building. Seriously, she finds the joy in everything! I get her all to myself almost an hour a day (I love naptime- for so very many reasons) and I get such a kick out of listening to her talk. And, boy, can she talk!! She'll go non-stop for hours, but it's so interesting to see how her mind works. Some days I would do anything for earplugs, but I wouldn't change this opportunity to inside her mind.

And then we add Isaac, and I am one fantastically blessed mama!!

One month home part 2

Ok, so I couldn't NOT share this picture of Isaac... you just know he's thinking, what is wrong with this crazy family??


We'd made Valentine's cupcakes for 2 different parties and he was on a sugar crash! This one is after delivering said cupcakes and partying with 15 three year olds and 12 eight year olds for two hours. I think he deserves a nap!! I think I deserve one, too!!

We found out Monday that his palate surgery will be March 20. So we have time to get ourselves a little more organized and celebrate a second birthday for 'Mr.Man', as the girls have christened him! We are really pleased with our surgeon so far and have heard really good things about how he caters to the patients.. letting me be there as he goes to sleep and wakes up, etc. I'm thankful he'll get to celebrate a birthday before his surgery, but I'll be even more thankful to have this surgery behind us!

One Month Home!!

It's hard to believe it's already been a month! I look back and can see how far we've already come-- and it makes me so excited to see where the next month (and the next..) brings us! I thought I'd share a few highlights from the first 4 weeks as a family of 5:

Isaac LOVES his sisters! When we pick them up from school he goes wild and laughs most of the way home- and I especially love the one of Emily and Isaac making faces at each other at the restaurant (celebrating 2 weeks home!). I have one just like this of me and my brother when he was Isaacs age.. and Isaac makes this face all the time!








We went to a japanese steak house to celebrate Tet (yes, I know that's not even close to Vietnamese, but the kids love it, and one of the waiters turned out to be Vietnamese, so I figure that's good enough). Anyway, one of the girls' favorite things they've learned about Tet is that it's when people (esp. in the countryside) celebrate their birthday- so they decided Isaac should get the birthday song and candle, and who was I to say no? Please, someone correct me if I have this way wrong, but for this year, at least, we liked getting to celebrate the birthday we missed withg Isaac! And then, the circus came to town! We surprised the kids w/ tickets and it was great!! They all three sat perfectly still the entire time and were mesmerized by the performers. Seriously, I know my physics is a little (OK, a lot) rusty, but some of the things we saw should not be possible! I'd forgotten how much fun the circus could be. Isaac is going to think that America is one crazy place if we keep this up--

Tantrum vs. Grieving

I thought if I was going to show a picture of Isaac unhappy, it's only fair to show one of him happy, which he is almost all the time! (these are from the Picture People on his 11th day in America!) Before traveling to get Isaac, I read LOTS of stuff on attachment and grieving. I was as prepared as I knew to be for how hard it would be for this little guy to loose all he had known and to learn that we were the forever mom and dad. But I failed to remember (having been through it twice) that toddlers can sometimes just have tantrums! So we would be out for a walk and I would sit down to rest. Well, Isaac would have none of it!! Head thrown back and body shaking in complete rage! So you have to ask- is this because he'd rather walk (ie. a typical tantrum) or because this is the scenario we repeated upwards of 100 times on the day we got him (ie. grief in remembering the constant 'sit down,cry/ stand up calm' pattern of that day and all that happened then) And the answer dictates how you should respond. We always err on the side of assuming it's grief. If we coddle him a bit in these early days, we don't stand to loose much- maybe just add a few months onto the tantrum-ing stage. But if we don't coddle him, we stand to really loose big. I wonder if people think we are spoiling him, or giving him a bottle when he's so old, but then I realize I don't care what they think! This is my child and I have to live with how he attaches to us. But I wanted to present a realistic picture to those waiting to get their children- the grief is real. I could feel his body shaking and his heart racing and I wondered, Will he ever like us? Then he would calm down and start playing and smiling again. And I would forget how bad it could be until the next time. The first few days we went through 6+ rages a day, lasting for 10-30 minutes. And they have been tapering off since. In fact, what prompted this post was when I realized he didn't have a single fit yesterday! We know it's a long process- years even- but it's getting better. And the way his face lights up when I come into the room is priceless. He laughs all the time, is figuring out what to do with all these toys, and is starting to cuddle easier with his bottle. (he still insists on helping to hold it) But, as prepared as I was, seeing the grief is much different than reading about it. Especially because I love him so much and hate that he has to go through this. And, if I indulge a few tantrums in the name of being sure I don't miss helping him through grief, so be it!